6/29/2011

Thank You for Submission and Request for Revision

Dear
The speech that you submitted to me for presentation at

John Franklin's retirement party is excellent with one

minor exception.
Inasmuch as John is somewhat sensitive about his age, I

feel that it would be inappropriate to make any reference

to this fact. I would appreciate it if you would delete

those sections in Paragraphs 6 and 7 which specifically

comment about his age and/or employ the words "golden

years", and find a suitable substitution.
Once again, the speech is very well written. Thank you.

No comments:

Post a Comment